Mumbled Thoughts

What my Dogs are teaching me about God

2008-11-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

For those of you are animal lovers you know how crazy you can get about your pets. They aren't just animals, they are family members. In mine and Amy's case they are our children and we love them sometimes I think too much, but I don't care. We got our first dog Charlie at the Birmingham Humane society. I remember the day that we got him. Amy had been wanting to get a dog for a while and I had been reluctant to go and look. Alas, though one day I asked if she wanted to go and just look ( famous last words eh..). When we got there we looked around and saw a lot of cute dogs but they would grow to be large dogs and we were looking for something smaller. There was a Dachshund ( Weenie Dog ) being walked around when we first got there but we assumed that he belonged to some one. We prepared to leave and asked the lady up front if they ever got any small dogs in. She told that they had just gotten the dachshund in 2 days earlier. When he licked my hand it was all over, he had to come home with us. We got our second dog Oscar, when he was just a puppy 6 weeks old. We traveled out to the middle of nowhere in Centre, Alabama and picked him out of about 4. We found out that it was a lot different raising a puppy compared to an older dog that had already for the most part been house broken. Many times we asked " So... why did we get another dog again" Now however I wouldn't give up either one of them for anything. I love these dogs so much, I can't imagine live without them. My dogs don't worry about the economy, they fret about whether I love them or not, they contribute ANY work towards the household. I take care of all of there needs, I feed them, make sure they are cleaned, I provide a warm home for them and I pay them A LOT of attention. They in return eat, sleep, and poop. If I take care of them like that and they are dogs, how much more will God take care of my needs? I have been stressed lately because work has been slow. I know that there are a lot of things that I have no control over and I have to trust that the Lord will take care of me. Why is this so hard? I want to rest in his arms like my puppies rest in mine. The lord says in Matthew 6 " Do not worry about your life , what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear.., the birds of the air do not sow or reap or stow away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" I realize that not worrying is much easier said than done. But we must pray that the Lord will help us grow and trust him more everyday, that the Spirit would give us peace and understanding. I want to take care of my dogs and want them to cuddle up with me..that's all. God wants us to love him and rest upon him.

1993...Has it been that long?

2008-10-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

So I just heard the new Guns N' Roses song, Chinese Democracy. It is a pretty good song. Axel's voice sounds a little different, of course he looks little different too lol. This album has been in the making for 15 YEARS now! Do you know some of the things that have happened during that time? Let's take a look. Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the iPod and iTunes, wow, how this has changed things, the last album to come out from GNR was probably released on CD and CASSETTE!!!! I don't know for sure but there were probably a few. Tupac was still alive, of course there are some that would say he is still here with us. Hell! Led Zepplin even performed a concert together who saw that one coming? Brittany spears was still a virgin, well maybe... ok that might not have been the case but we will still assume. Kurt Cobaine was still alive and making music. We had a Democrat in office lol and it looks like by the time this CD comes out another one will be in too. Gas was under $1 a gallon, and not many people had cell phones! A lot of things have happened but one thing is for sure, it so cool that some of these classic bands are releasing new albums. I just got the new AC/DC and it rocks out. I do wonder if the real Guns N Roses will ever get back together, probably not, but it would be one of the biggest things to ever happen. Any way, if you would like to hear the new song here is a link http://www.gunsnroses.com/ It takes a moment for the song to start up. Enjoy!

What's going on?

2008-10-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

OK, So it has been a while since I have made a post. A lot of thing s have changed and some things haven't. Since my last post the Republican Party has named a woman to be their VP running mate, Tom Brady went from a #1 Fantasy pick to injured reserve, Alabama went from preseason #25 to now #2 ( ROLL TIDE BTW ), Auburn went from a spread offense to... well I will get back with you on that. Oh yeah and our Economy has fallen apart and the end of the world is almost here, just kidding, but seriously it has. Depending on which political party you pull for, the reason why may differ, but we can all agree that it is pretty bad. During all of this something has caught my attention and I want to know WTF is going on. I have noticed that with the stock market collapsing and global markets falling to pieces, that the price of oil has dropped to (as of today) under $80 a barrel!!!!! Now, that's great, cheap oil means cheap gas right? You would think so but, alas no. Gas prices are still at the $3.50 range!! Are you kidding me!?! I want to know why? I mean when oil was under $100 a barrel the price of gas was around the $2.00 range and when oil goes up a couple of bucks a barrel gas goes up a nickel a gallon. This summer the price of oil jumped to it's highest ever at $147 a barrel. At that point gas prices were at the $4.00 mark. Now, the price of oil has dropped to almost half of that price and gas has gone down 50 cents!!!!!! What is going on? Why isn't anybody talking about this? I mean everybody is concerned about the economy and rightfully so, but our economy is confidence based. When gas prices are through the roof everybody freaks out and cuts back on buying other products and that causes a slowdown in consumer spending. I mean if gas were back at the $2.50 range people would be spending less on fuel and have more money to spend on other things. I wonder why the media is not reporting this instead of why the photographer chose to take that picture of Palin the way he did. I have a couple of theories as to why prices are still so high. One reason is I think is political. We have dumped all of this money into alternative fuels that we are afraid that people would simply go back to like before and not care about other means of energy because gas is cheap enough. I think that "they" ( oil companies, politicians, who ever) have gotten us used to paying so much for gas why would they drop it dramatically? The price goes up to $4 a gallon and then comes down to $3.75 and everybody is excited. Well not me. Look I am all about free enterprise and don't have a problem with companies making profit. I have never worked for a poor person. I just think that this is also the medias doing too. They cover doomsday news all day long and right now that is the economy and who will win the election. They speak and the rest of us listen. Remember when gas was shooting up and they were saying how bad it was and how it was going to get worse... people listened and freaked out and it did get worse. I don't have the answers, I just wanted to know if anybody else out there had the same questions as I do.

Choose your Weapon

2008-08-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

So I have recently joined a fantasy football league, it is not exactly like the picture above, but I thought it was kinda funny. I was asked about a year ago if I wanted to join my office league but at the time I was not interested. I didn't know much about pro football and they wanted like $100 bucks to join, so I decided not to throw away my money. However this year I was thinking about trying to join in. The office league however was already full. I had mentioned this to my friend Vinnie one day and shortly after that he found out that there was a spot opening up on his league so he pitched the offer to me. After finding out the entry fee was significantly lower and I would be able to play with some old friends, I decided to take the plunge. By the way for those who are reading this, if you don't know anything about fantasy football then you don't realize just how big this thing is. There are several websites, magazines, and outlets that provide the tools to turn you from a normal human being into the ultimate fantasy football ( enter your own noun to describe yourself here ). I never played football when I was a kid, but neither did a lot of people who play fantasy football, but that won't stop me from talking trash about my players kicking your players asses. It is a lot like the ole " My Dad could beat up your Dad " arguement from kindergarten. It really is the best of both worlds though, I don't do any of the actual work, but I take all the credit as I pound my chest when my defense sacks the quarterback or one of my wide receivers catches a touchdown pass. It is awesome. I had so much fun preparing for the draft( yes in fantasy football there is a draft and yes it is a big event). We have a website where you can post stories and talk trash, trade your players like they were baseball cards, and watch them perform. We even have a trophy!! No joke, I saw it this weekend. I will make a prediction that I will win that trophy, not based on my skill or athletic ability, but based on the fact that it is fantasy football people and I will be a level 3 grand master before it is all over. Now, I gotta get back and check my roster and prepare to do battle in the coming weeks.

Oh, but yes...

2008-07-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

Those who know me well, know that I fancy a cigar often. To me, there aren't too many things that compare with a nice maduro cigar and a cold beverage of choice. They can be enjoyed in the company of others or when all alone. I have been smoking cigars for a few years now and it just keeps getting better and better. I have some great memories surrounding cigars. I remember a trip to Florida where my friend Brad and I were discussing freedoms of the gospel and wondering what it might be like to try a cigar, never having smoked anything in my life before. It was a great trip and an even better conversation. I remember going to the local cigar shop in Helena at the time and picking out my first cigar. It was a H. Upmann, and I remember it made me feel a little queasy after smoking it, which is pretty normal for some one's first time. I have had a lot of good times at the smoke shop where I go now, just hanging out with the regulars there. Probably the best memory I have about cigars though is Christmas day 2001. It was the first time I had a cigar with my dad. You see growing up, my dad was gone a lot and we never had a very close relationship. When I was in high school I was very active in my youth group and caught up with a lot of legalism. The times I did see my dad, I would try to talk to him about church stuff, while there was nothing wrong with that, I didn't really have much of a relationship with him. We didn't have a lot in common. But that was a time where we began to bond. I am not saying that the cigar was the reason we bonded( Although that would make for a great ad wouldn't it?) it was a change of mindset, that I needed to focus on loving him instead of trying to save him. Getting back to cigars though, they have been a part of a lot of good times. Cigars are are symbols throughout the world and can stand for a lot of different things. Sometimes they symbolize wealth and sophistication, celebration or victory, and are sometimes seen as rebellious. Bottom line though is that cigars are cool, just kidding.. but seriously they are.

untitled

2008-07-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture and I couldn't stop staring at it. It is not what most people would call a pleasant picture and yet there is something about it that makes it hard to look away. You wonder what is going through his mind right now. Is he at the end of his rope and want to end it? Is he in a trance and unaware where he is going, knowing only that one foot goes in front of the other? Maybe he wants to keep going until he finds the end. Maybe he wants to turn around and go back, but it seems so far away, and he is really tired from all the walking. The water is not raging around him, I mean it doesn't look like a hurricane is going on around him. On the other hand the water doesn't look smooth either, and it is definitely surrounding him more and more with each step. How did he even get there in the first place? Where is everybody else? Would he even be missed? I wonder if the sun in the background is rising or setting on him? I wonder if even he knows? May hope find him.

Awkward Moments

2008-07-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

Everybody's had them, those moments were you wish that you could leave or maybe just disappear. If you have ever been out with another couple and they start fighting about something as if they are the only two people around, you know what I am talking about. Some people seem to be immune to feeling awkward, as if they were an animal taking a dump in the middle of a crowded room, there is just as good as any, is the way they see it. Others avoid conflict and attention at all cost. They will do almost anything to avoid getting stuck in an awkward situation. Have you ever had a situation come up were you are presented with the option to either, A. confront it and have a brief awkward moment and then be done with it or B. try to avoid confrontaion altogether and hope it works? Well, I had one of those moments a few months ago, that I thought I would share with you. Amy and I had put our house up on the market for sale a few weeks prior to this particular event. We lived in one of those little garden home communities where all the houses look the same and they are really close together. I am ashamed to admit that I had lived there for about four years and didn't really know my neighbors. A couple had moved in across the street earlier that year. They were an interesting couple to say the least. He liked to sit on the front porch smoking a black n' mild and drinking, while listening to his car stereo like it was a ipod with license plates. She liked to spend her time yelling at him loud enough that the rest of the neighborhood can hear her and hence learn his name. One day as I was coming home from work I noticed that there was a toilet sitting out by their mailbox, I assumed that this was their old one and not one they had seen on Home shopping network and just had to have. I thought to myself " Well that's nice" as I went inside. I watched as a few days went by and the toilet remained even after trash day had come and gone. Now, as excited as I was to have such a nice lawn ornament across the street, while my house is on the market, I decided that I might need to inform my real estate agent. I spoke to him the next morning and let him know about the toilet. He began to explain to me (very professionally by the way) how having a toilet sitting in front of my neighbor's house could give the wrong impression to potential buyers and it would be in our best intrest if it were removed. I was now presented with the two options I mentioned earlier. I could speak to my neighbor and ask if he wouldn't mind moving the aforementioned toilet. This would be a great oppurtunity to meet him after living there for almost a year and welcome them to the neighborhood. I could even offer to help him dispose of the toilet. Or, I could also choose option B and instead, wait until it was dark, steal the toilet and get a friend of mine to help dispose of it into a dumpster near work. Now I decided to seek counsel from my family on how best to handle the situation and they gave some good advice and after thinking it through I decided to opt for option B anyway. Now I did have a plan of sorts, I would borrow my stepdad's truck and pull it around the street behind my house and later when it was very dark, I would simply grab the toilet and take it around the back. That should be easy right? I decided I would go home first and then wait until close to midnight. When I go home though, I am pulling into the drive way and I notice that my neighbor is home but inside and no lights are on outside. I figured that this was as good oppurtunity as any. I get out of the car and walk across the street. I lift up the toilet and begin to go across the street to my house. My plan was to put it behind the house now and later get the truck. Now, I am not exactly in the best shape of my life nor have I ever been in that great of shape. I begin to haul the toilet to the back and I am having to hobble around like those guys on " The World's Strongest Man" contests when they are lugging a boulder. I get the toilet to the back and I am red faced and starting to sweat desperately trying not to pass out. I start going back around the house to go back in and I see that my neighbor's lights are on and he is standing in his doorway smoking and talking on the phone. Now I would like to think that he wouldn't notice that his toilet, which was there just a minute ago is now gone, however I will give him the benefit of the doubt considering there is a trail left from where it was. You see, I forgot to mention that the toilet still had water in it. As I was wobbling along with this used, broken toilet, it was sloshing around and unbeknowst to me leaving a trail of water going from his mailbox straight to my house. So, the chances that a gang of toilet thieves are the ones to blame for the dissapearance, are slim to none. I decided that I would go through the side entrance of my house as not to be seen. I am worried now, because I don't know my neighbor, or how he might react to some one stealing his toilet. I am looking out the window in our bathroom waiting, anticipating at any moment there will be a knock at my door. Well, the knock didn't come and I decide to do what I should have done in the first place and since the jig was up anyway, I prepared to walk across and talk to him. I start up his driveway and his door is wide open and he is somewhere inside. I stand there and start saying hello. He comes around the corner and comes out. I can smell that he has been drinking, so I introduce myself and then I say " Hey, you know that toilet that was in your front yard? Did you still want that? " I think that it was akward for him too because he started talking a lot and really fast saying that they told him to leave it out there and the city would come and pick it up. I told him that I would be more than happy to dispose of it for him. I am trying to break away and then my wife pulls up across the street and instead of going inside comes over. The next twenty minutes are full of drunken talking and then he starts yelling at his girlfriend to come out and say hello, she of course is in the shower but that doesn't matter to him and she throws a robe on and comes out and talks to us some more. We finally broke away and then I called my friend and we disposed of the toilet. So this is an awkward moment that I recently experienced. I would like to think that there is a moral to this story but I can't. So if you have had moments like these or worse let's talk some time.

A new level of tired

2008-07-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am, at the moment, very tired as it it has been a long weekend. First off, it was 4th of July weekend which means that there was a lot of socializing going on which can take it out of you. Second, for some reason, Friday and Saturday night I could not fall asleep. Finally, Amy flew to Mexico Sunday morning( no, she is not a drug mule ) and we got up at 3:30 a.m. to get her to the airport in time to leave at 6:00. I haven't gotten much sleep is what I am saying and on top of that while Amy is gone, I don't sleep well. Besides being physically tired, I am spiritually exhausted. I feel very alone, and have felt that way for a while. I know that life has ups and downs in it. That goes for our physical lives as well as our spiritual ones. I just wish that they would be a little further aprt. Of course I guess that would mean that the dips would last longer too though, that sucks. I feel like the younger son in the story of the prodigal son. I have a wonderful home and a loving father. Instead of being content, I say " screw it, I think I will leave". I end up chasing things that I know will not satisfy me and betraying the one who fills me. This is not a deep thought or anything like that. I mean believers go through this all the time, this is not a new revelation( As I said in my first post, I don't consider myself a deep thinker). What I am feeling like and even thinking about now though is, did the prodigal son think about what he was doing while he was in the middle of squandering his inheritance? Did he ever pause a moment and think to himself, this is wrong, I shouldn't be here? If he did, did he feel guilty about it, and if so what does it say about him when he kept going until he ran out of money? I have been a believer for a long time and I have struggled with my sin many, many times. What scares me is not the thought that I will always struggle with my sin, what scares me is becoming apathetic toward it. The grace of God is shown not just when the son comes back and the father embraces him, it is shown when He lets the son spend all of his money, become broke and eat with pigs. When we get caught up in sin we think that when we suffer consequences, that is simply God punishing us, and while that is true, I believe that some times God is being graceful to us to allow us to suffer consequences to bring us out of our sin. Have you ever heard the expression used by siblings " Why are you picking on me? I do it because I love you, if I didn't love you I would just ignore you"? I am not saying that God picks on us, but I am saying that God, taking away consequences and leaving us in our sin would be BAD. I wonder why I keep leaving my father to chase other things, and wonder how long will it be before he brings me back? I am tired and feel left alone, which is the worst feeling ever. In the end though, I know that He will be faithful and bring me home. Some of the sweetest times in my life have come just after the hard times. I just wonder if the prodigal son ever got tired while he was out partying.... and wish he could go back home.

Half way over...

2008-07-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

It is July 2nd and that means as far as school is concerned, the summer is half way over. This made me think of when I was a kid how much I enjoyed summer vacation. I remember counting down the days left till summer started and being unaware of just how fast it went by. There has always been the saying " Enjoy being young now because tomorrow you will be a day older and before you know it, you will be old." ( ok, maybe I got the quote wrong, but you get the gist). Something I catch myself doing a lot is thinking about " The Good Ole Days " Now, the good ole days vary depending on your age. I am 27 and when I think about those times they are usually my teen years. I remember specifically one time in highscool though I was sitting on the swings( that's right, swings, I love them and wish that they would make them a litlle bigger so adults... I mean fat kids could enjoy them too) and remembering when I was a little kid about 7-10 and wondering when I lost my innocence, and wishing I could go back. By innocence I mean the kind young children have before they realize the world going on around them. I remember that day on the swings very well because at that time I was going through some rough times in a relationship and stress with all the things that go along with being a seventeen year old. I was wishing I could go back to being a little kid when the biggest things going on were Saturday morning cartoons and how many days were left till Christmas. I didn't think about the bad times though, like living through my parents several divorces or the times of getting in trouble. I only remembered the good times. Now, when I think of my teen years I think about the fun times hanging out with my friends and the disco party we had when I was in the youth group. I find myself wanting to go back to those days now, I don't think about the tuff times or about the people who hurt me, the people I hurt. What I realize though, is that when I was a teen the time that I spent reminiscing about the past, I was missing out on the present. I try not to do that now but so many times fall back into daydreaming about the past and glorifying it, I don't want to spend my life looking back and missing what is right in front of me. So now I work with the youth group at my church and I love these kids, they're great. I catch myself telling them " Enjoy being young now before you have a lot of responsibilities like paying taxes, having to work through the summer, don't be in such a hurry to grow up." Summer is half way over, make sure you enjoy it, soak in the second half and after it's over don't waste time looking back.

Well here goes...

2008-06-30T15:17:00.000-07:00

This is my first attempt at blogging, so I will try to accomplish at least two things. First, I will try to put my thoughts into words, which I struggle with a lot in this medium considering I am used to talking through them instead of writing them down( I don't know, maybe they get lost in translation or maybe I am being lazy.. probably both). Second , I will try to not let this post be the first and last post I write. I don't consider myself a deep thinker as much as a deep feeler. I know people who are both, but when I have what I would call a deep thought I don't write it down and then later get distracted by one of a million things, and it passes away until it pops up some where out of the blue. I feel stuff deeply almost everyday and right now I feel like I am drowning in a sea of loneliness, being crushed by the pressure of the deep and at the same time feeling like I am going to explode if I don't empty my soul. Why have I never learned to write what I am feeling or thinking and always relied on some one listening, whether another or myself? It is too easy today to hear and not listen. I hope that those who read this don't think that I am weird or sad based on this post, because there are going to be a lot more posts that will give you that vibe down the road, just kidding...... but seriously.